wonders if any of those kisses
projected into the moon and the sun
reaches you or not;
and shouldn’t care the negative
when the meaning is insisted upon,
and what felt inside is even more of drama.
sinking into a peaceful thoughtfulness,
mastered to suppress the unhappiness;
loving you, let you be praised…
pacientemente, espero que el tiempo pase;
y no es una sorpresa que el tiempo pasa
más rápido en el espacio, donde
nuestros corazones unen, y nuestros ojos sonríen;
el lugar que los labios besan, y los manos tocan.
mi amor, no pienses que el silencio nos separaría;
la distancia desvaneciendo está y nos traerá más alegría;
que el tiempo terrenal ya ha pasado,
y el paraíso cerca de nosotros dos estará.
if i am blind and don’t see you,
i will not fall in love with you;
hence, you cannot be persistently wanted;
bothered; scared; feeling chased.
if i am blind, i will not be hurt by you;
i will not secretly know you; i may not miss you.
if i’d been blind, i would have blamed myself
for not seeing you; not falling in love with you;
not secretly knowing you; persistently wanting you;
bothering you; scaring you; and missing you…
her thought punching in my brain;
at times, starting before the sun rises;
she captures my every dream;
obsesses me everything within.
as rays of light carry your images again;
and the air, your scent;
my neck remembers your taste;
am i gone crazy? don’t know yet…
give me everything that’s truly yours;
burn me till the very end;
come on and lie me again;
drink my blood, leave me unconscious.
how much do you love me?
i am still hungry for your teeth;
with your presence, my heart bleeds.
weakness is my enemy right now,
but i want you again and again;
despite i know who you really are-
the actress, with the most beautiful eyes-
don’t stop; toy me around!
like a virus in my veins, a disease in my head,
you’re the most dangerous being,
that ever existed on this earth;
you’re the actress, my vampire.
…
Credits: For this one, I’ve used the scheme and words from a poem, actress, written by a young girl from Bulgaria, alexkellyoc.
es un nombre para tu ausencia;
una pregunta en la mayor distancia.
es una obsesión por verte;
es un guión para tenerte.
es hackear tu silencio;
los golpes de corazón mío.
es la esperanza matadora para tus labios;
los temblorosos castigos que sufro por no estar contigo.
eres tú un amor, a veces yo soy;
yo un amoroso, a veces una vos.
los hechos esfuerzos para liberarnos
de esta esclavitud de no estar juntos.
ellos pueden ser el amor;
y en otro contexto, una enfermedad,
dependencia emocional.
my hands turn against me;
my eyes, they blind me,
and i get hurt.
a lifetime of troubles,
more than mental illness.
like an addict,
i go to her,
hoping that she’d help me;
but her absence makes me weaker.
a lifetime of troubles,
i’m the last thing she needs,
she the last i need.
Welcome to my awful situation! Welcome to this hell where love remains unfulfilled and relationships unfinished; the state in which you know of your sickness but nevertheless, enjoy the suffering as it makes you think. You want to feel, to grow up, to expand and consequently you need love, loneliness, and suffering!
Welcome to hardship! Welcome to struggle! Welcome to the enormous battlefield, a place deep inside where you keep up the fight with your own self! Welcome to this world of constant questions! Welcome to weaknesses and limitations!
Where you cannot be with the person you love, you’d remain with two main choices:
1- Whether you stay alone and wait for love.
2- Or you opt to be with a person who in some easy ways, places themselves in your path. They don’t belong to you and you don’t belong to them, but you pretend you want them and you’re happy with them.
I’m the kind of person who their LOVER side is stronger. I want to be a lover no matter what. I imposed loneliness upon myself and chose one, rather than playing with other people’s nerves and emotions.
It is hard to face reality. It is somehow a great challenge to accept the truth, but that will be invaluable in the end!
Our biological and psychological needs force us to find a mate. Evolution is in process and we cannot stop it! What can you do when you love a female 12307.841 kilometers away from you? You are a lover and a potential mate and that woman would have seriously considered you, were you closer to her.
My love life and future is somehow bound to the decisions politicians make. Unlike our ancestors, we are not free to travel to other parts of the earth. We need visas and money! I’ve been rejected the Mexican visa in my first application. The reasons for turning down my appeal are connected to the recent conflicts and subsequent sanctions on Iran over its controversial nuclear program. In a blink of an eye our currency kept falling down. I had everything ready but somehow my plans came to naught.
In recent months, some sort of confusion and hatred kept growing in me for the governments of Iran, Israel and the USA.
Now what?! Can you imagine how hard it goes for me each day and night, to be living so far away from her and not being able to go to her freely? Read anything on this mine WordPress blog, and you’d find out that she is almost in all of my poems and writings. I heal myself through writing and poetry. I remember I once told her that if she kept on making me crazy (through her torturing silences and by ignoring me!) I’d become a good poet!
Oh, it’s such a romance- such a sad love story. So far it has been thus. I fell for a girl on the other side of this planet. I’ve had all sorts of thoughts, considerations, dreams, ambivalence, confusion, conflicts, and etc. I love this story, even if it contains bitterness and failures.
There are cultural differences; there are this and that… I know, I swear I know. But I don’t care, love is stronger than those! There are both differences and similarities that all contribute to the relationships. There is something I feel inside. I can feel her. Damn, it’s difficult even speaking about it!
I confess that she’s chosen silence with me since April 13th, 2012. I had to unfriend her from my Facebook that day. I want to publicly apologize for that! I remember I was almost frozen for some days after that. And it’s not important if she forgives me or not. Anyway, I made a new Facebook profile without adding any friends this time. Some form of vengeance! Anyhow, for me, it’s proven to be more beneficial and relaxing being on Facebook without adding any friends!
When you love someone, when you decide to be a lover; when you enjoy loving; you have to accept the consequences. You need to wait for a day when you’d be loved. I’m learning to live and to love!
Above all, I’m learning to love myself. I’m learning to forgive myself besides trying to walk a right and strong path!
